My Cartoon Rejects

Friday, November 3, 2023

"Your triglycerides are elevated, but the bigger problem is you're a potato."

Don't worry, Mr. P. Mine are elevated also.

"I hear there's a lovely meteor shower predicted this evening."

Meteor shower, get it? Because a huge meteor destroyed the dinosaurs. So this is really funny. I won't be taking any further questions at this time.

"Oooh, look how the eyes of newt turn red from the flash!"

Not a big fan of this one either. Let's blame it on the cartoon.

"But what if the baby favors more of a social democratic economic system?"

Well, it's eleven(!!) years later, and I decided to pick this back up. Unfortunately the contest I start with is a pretty crappy cartoon.

I couldn't think what to do with it, so I looked up "alternatives to capitalism" and just went with it.

Jerrold E. Fink, Highland Park, Ill.

"Of course, we'll place it higher if it's a girl."

Meh.

You can't call yourself a Seinfeld fan if you don't recognize this one.

Of course, that means "I can't find my receipt, my place is a sty" and "my wife is a slut" are also out of the running.

"The semiaquatic lifestyle just doesn't do it for me."

This seems like a nice, bland, winning entry, doesn't it?